Monthly Archive: August, 2012

Milan Lucic to Play Meth Addict on Season Finale of ‘Breaking Bad’

Milan Lucic, the Boston Bruins’ hard-hitting goal-scorer, will guest star in the season finale of Breaking Bad and play a meth-addled junkie, producers of the hit show have announced. Lucic said the character… Continue reading

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Patrick Kane Announces He Will Play Hockey in Nicaragua During Lockout Because of Country’s ‘Awesome Beaches and Chicks’

Chicago Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane has announced that he will not play in Europe in the event of a lockout during the 2012-13 NHL season like many of his fellow NHLers, but will… Continue reading

NHL Players Looking Forward to Playing Lots of ‘EA Sports NHL 13′ During 2012-13 Season

The NHLPA has announced today that its player members are looking forward to playing a lot of EA Sports NHL 13 this season since they won’t have to play real hockey. “It’s going… Continue reading

Hockey Commentators Really Like to Call Black Hockey Players ‘Cocky’

            A Real Hockey News investigation has shown that hockey commentators, including professional hockey writers, players, and team executives, really like to describe young, black hockey players as… Continue reading

BREAKING: NHL, NHLPA Negotiations Canceled Due to Shock of Nickelback Singer Chad Kroeger’s Engagement to Avril Lavigne

The CBA negotiations between the NHL and the NHLPA were canceled shortly after both parties learned of the marriage announcement between Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger and singer Avril Lavigne. “We just found out… Continue reading

Hockey Legend Eddie Shore Comes Back from Grave to Tell NHL What ‘No Good Pansies’ They Are

Eddie Shore, the legendary defenseman known for his superior toughness and skill who dominated the NHL for 16 seasons in the 20′s and 30′s, passed away in 1985 at the age of 82.… Continue reading

NHL Hopes to Win Over Angry Fans with Pitbull Concert During Winter Classic

Intense labor talks that have threatened to bring the NHL’s third lockout in ten years has angered many of the league’s loyal fans. But that is something NHL executives hope to fix by… Continue reading

Lubomir Visnovsky Blames Islanders for Car Crash

After emerging from a wrecked Ferrari shortly after crashing it into a race track barrier in Slovakia, defenseman Lubomir Visnovsky knew who to blame for the accident: the New York Islanders. “It’s all… Continue reading

LA Kings Players Running Out of Ideas to Celebrate with Stanley Cup – You Don’t Want to Know What’s Next

The Los Angeles Kings players have been among the most creative of recent Stanley Cup champion teams when it comes to celebrating their day with Lord Stanley’s Cup. Left winger Dwight King acted… Continue reading

Psychologists Recommend NHL Seek Mental Help for ‘Post Traumatic Wealth Syndrome’

The NHL just hates itself, according to expert psychologists. “We have done numerous tests,” said psychologist Dr. Wilhelm Fitz. “And we can conclude is that the people who run the NHL and the… Continue reading