The NHLPA has announced today that its player members are looking forward to playing a lot of EA Sports NHL 13 this season since they won’t have to play real hockey.
“It’s going to be a great opportunity to work on my game and get my team to the Stanley Cup,” said Buffalo Sabres goalie, Ryan Miller. “I have the Detroit Red Wings as my team and I just traded myself from Buffalo to Hockeytown and it’s just gonna be awesome.”
Other players, including Penguins star Sidney Crosby, say they are looking forward to playing hockey without getting a concussion every 12 games.
“The only problem is that the flashing lights still give me a headache,” Crosby said.
More time playing NHL 13 also gives players the chance to live out their hockey fantasies.
“I’m benching Cory Schnieider for the whole damn season, including playoffs,” said the Vancouver Canucks’ Roberto Luongo.
However, not all players are happy about having more time to play NHL 13 this season.
“I finally get traded to a real team, and they’re gonna have a lockout,” said newly acquired Rangers forward, Rick Nash. “WTF, man?”
Sabres winger Patrick Kaleta was also disappointed by having more time playing video games.
“Whenever I leave my feet to hit the TV, it breaks,” he said. “Totally sucks.”
Despite the mixed emotions, the majority of hockey players are in favor of more time to play NHL 13, and none more so than the Minnesota Wild’s newly acquired players, Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, who will each receive $10 million signing bonuses, even though they might not have to play a single real game.
“We’re getting ten million dollars for playing NHL 13,” Parise said. “You better believe we’re gonna have a bomb-ass TV.”
“Most definitely,” Suter added. “I just don’t understand why this lockout thing is happening.”