The NHL and NHLPA have come to an agreement, according to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, who said the signed and sealed agreement is the same one from a few months ago.
“To be honest, I don’t know why this thing took so long,” Bettman said. “There really wasn’t much to argue about. Owners get a little more money, players get a little less. What’s there to argue about? It’s not like the players are gonna go play anywhere else.”
Donald Fehr, who some say was a representative for the NHLPA, although that could not be confirmed, said he agreed with Bettman.
“No, there wasn’t anything to argue about,” Fehr said. “I don’t even know why I was hired. I really don’t understand my purpose. Seriously. Why am I here? Who are you? Who are we?”
Several players were on hand to witness the signing of the agreement, including Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby.
“I’m so happy, I could cry,” Crosby said.
Buffalo Sabres netminder Ryan Miller was also in attendance, although he was not as happy as Crosby.
“I was hoping they’d make me captain of all the players and give me a hat that said so,” Miller said. “This deal sucks.”
Team owners could not comment because they were not able to stop laughing.